Silent Strings

Peace Dawns Upon Me

2011-11-30T09:20:00.000-08:00

A great sense of peace dawns upon me...

One for forgiveness... For a better cause...

Design

2011-07-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

Form follows function

Words follow each other

Borders make a pattern

Pattern that represent

Beauty, Grace, Style

And Completeness

Independence Day Evening

2010-08-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

The sun has set for today; the speeches have echoed in deaf ears

indifferent souls having tea in humid summer; 'maoists' shouting in the forests

and 'kashmiris' in the mountains; hunger in the streets and corruption in the corridors of power

statues and parks for bygone 'Netas'; grains rotting away in godowns for the emaciated souls

The non-inclusive forest-dwellers and the land where sun rises

Xenophobic population; identity defined by surnames and caste names,

Sticky brands followed through generations,

Divided by language; divided by birth; by the direction of worshiping god;

by the length of facial hair, color of skin, dialect of language;

Morals only for school kids, with the luxury of daily bread

The sun has set for today and will it rise tomorrow ?

There were people in the past who had souls

Today locked in photo frames and remembered during national holidays

The sun has set for today and will it rise tomorrow ?

India is an administrative convenience

2010-07-23T07:49:00.001-07:00

National Integration is a myth. There are no Indians, just north indians, south indians, hindus, muslims and all such things.

Back to cubicle life

2010-05-03T05:29:00.000-07:00

Back to cubicle life.
After a hiatus of an year, now the cardboard boxes are back.I am surrounded on 2 sides by them and the employee-collar that makes you one among the pack.
No expectations as of now, but I like the discipline of sitting in front of a laptop for 9 hours and having something which i have to do. Maybe there is nothing like interesting stuff as I have been wandering aimlessly for the past one month without anything to do. I bloody well do not have an intellectual curiosity to pursue, except the occasional browsing of wikipedia.
Maybe It is good.
I am made to lease my mind to corporates for the sum that they credit into my bank account every month. But hey, maybe not. Maybe I will find this job interesting, manipulating minds and systems and processes in my own way. Maybe I will align it with some ambition which I have developed in my mind, conditioned by circumstances, and evolved through time and acquired foolishness
Maybe, just maybe. I will wait and see...

opportunity cost - in the making

2010-03-14T11:50:00.000-07:00

This moment could have been a billion other moments
some richer, some merrier, some smoother
and some rougher
but this moment carries the opportunity cost
of a billion other moments
and that weighs on it

freedom

2010-03-12T03:10:00.001-08:00

I don't want to be constrained
Not by my thoughts
not by aims,
or by the mirage of success
and the ways of life

I don't want to be constrained
by the riches in future or
fame or fortune
or status or security

not by the virtues of the rich
or the styles of the famous
or the patterns of decisions
or the ways of the world

'Year passed by' - in construction

2010-01-05T02:14:00.000-08:00

many more waves passed over the shore
and filled with sands, all scars from yore
many more winds have blown over the desert
and many more suns have risen over the hills
...

Simplistic depiction of a wedding

2009-12-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

white flowing dress
dark glowing tress
chimes and flowers
bouquet and clovers
arches and domes
whispers and small chatter
and more audible patter
smile of hope
knowing glances
and then the vows
and applause
fun and frolic
dine and wine
and a pleasant wind
two distinct bodies
and a single mind

Boredom

2009-12-26T08:55:00.000-08:00

boredom creeping in
moments of nothingness
some unknown thoughts
registered in memory and washed away
some unseen scenes
flashing and fading away
surfing through the cyber world
for unseen pages and images
slacking before the exam tomorrow
with umpteen slides galore
wasting away time
no inspiration
none
dull
dry
placid
stalled
and
...

Voluntary Boundedness

2009-12-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

Classic cacophony
disturbance and chemicals
bounded bounded self
bounded bounded self
cynical world, manners to keep
social capital
burning sun, sweaty forehead
thirsty dry lips
patches of grass, white sand all around
bounded self but no compulsion
voluntary boundedness
dry straight road, waves pounding
the rock, and again voluntary boundedness

Symphony

2009-12-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

I am for once intrigued
by the melodies created by musicians
by the picture made using notes in their key boards
and tunes from their violins and colors from
their guitars

and again the collage of different sounds
and emotions pasted together
taking from the palette of nature and
the genius of the creator

i wonder
where do these notes come from
how do they make a symphony
and take you to an unknown realm
how sometimes words join the symphony
with music encircling them
entwined in an erratic motion

words and sounds and colors
and the symphony of their moves
i wonder again
is it the genius of the creator ?
or is it the genius, the creator ?

peppy music

2009-12-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

fallen leaves
lonely road
trees on either side
peppy music
floating through the air

early morning
warm sun
peppy music
floating through the air

warm coffee
pleasant rays of the sun
playing hide and seek with the leaves
trotting through the road
sipping in the caffeine

peppy music mixed with
the sound of waves lapping the rocks
sea shore in the distance
trotting through the road
sipping in the caffeine

sea gulls and crabs
sunbathing tourists
seashells and mystic curios
dancers in the platform
and peppy music
floating through the air

freebird

2009-12-04T15:03:00.000-08:00

here i am
spreading wings far apart
flying across the blue sky
spotting fields of wheat
and stack of hay

here i am
a freebird flying to no place
nothing is binding no wind is forcing
me to fly to that place

here i am
a freebird
here i am

when you have nothing to do

2009-11-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

when a child is born, it never had to do anything
it knew when it needed milk and cried for it
it knew what was pleasure and tried to seek it
and then it got conditioned
to do things for survival
to stand things which it did not like
and now...
...now it does not know what to do
when it does not have to do anything

phil

when it lasts

2009-11-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

why do we need to lose something
before missing it?
why do they need to be away
before liking them?
why do we not value something
when it lasts?
why do we have to think back
and say those were the times?
why is life not joyful
when it happens?

passion

2009-11-08T11:55:00.000-08:00

the sea was always calm
and played a melancholy silence
painted the dark blue sky with
touches of nostalgia and poignancy

and it slowly changed
and painted a scene
with blue and dark images of passion
with waves dancing full of life
and winds blowing in harmony
and the birds flying back in flocks

while the sun was setting ahead
the message was now different
that life is passion, it is not a struggle
an enactment of the search for beauty
full of energy and boundless charm
and to find the peace within
to see the world through a new lens
one which can see beauty and nothing else
maybe love and music and colors of trinkets
that the wars are not glamorous
neither honor, nor style
that the drops of passion that has fallen
into pieces of work, that drops of love
shared with people around
and that wakes you up the next day
full of boundless zeal and cheerful form

-phil

the branch

2009-10-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

the universe has branched into two
the one where i am
and the one where you are

selective insulation

2009-09-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

i am insulated
i am insulated to the war cries
to the hyperactivity
to the competition and the paranoia

i am not
to the beauty
and the laziness
and the toil which brings
about happiness
to the sweat in the court
to the pun in the theatre
to the taste of wine
and the rhythm in the dance floor.

selective insulation

nothing

2009-09-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

2009-08-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
 I'd relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
 I would take fewer things seriously.
   I would take more chances.
  
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
 I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
 I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
   but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
  
You see, I'm one of those people who live
 sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
   day after day.
   
Oh, I've had my moments,
 And if I had it to do over again,
   I'd have more of them.
 In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
   Just moments, one after another,
 instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
 
I've been one of those people who never goes anywhere
 without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
   and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
 I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
     and stay that way later in the fall.
 I would go to more dances.
 I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
 I would pick more daisies.

   Nadine Stair,
   85 years old.

[Picked up a wonderful poem ]
Source : http://www.omidia.com/thought/p_nadine.html

prisoner of practicality

2009-08-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

the world deserves no mercy

2009-08-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

for why would the world deserve mercy
why would it deserve love
leave it to the chemicals that flow in the blood
and the nerves that let you move
the world deserves no rationality
the world deserves no fairness
leave it to the emotions that run in your mind
and the whims that amuse from time to time
for the herd will never listen to fairness
the herd is just a herd of animals

the world deserves no love
slaughter it when you are hungry and eat it
and throw away the bones
the world deserves no love
cut it and make pulp and paper out of it
the world deserves absolute negligence
for the world is not fair
and it is always the survival of the meanest

moments

2009-08-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

for all we have is a bunch of moments
and for all we have
is a bunch of moments

for the daily bread

2009-06-11T09:40:00.001-07:00

Image courtesy: lijo jose

i never knew that india was shining
that the economy is growing
that FDI is coming
that the stock market is booming

but i knew that the rangers are rude
for the blades of grass i take
that there are thorns and snakes
and wild cats that are awake

but my baby is crying and the
night is cold, the babus are not
coming back with their shiny smiles
and the ballots are gone
and i am left alone
to gather the daily crumbs
of bread

crossing 27

2009-05-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

some say it is an inflection point...
i have had many...

anyways
happy birthday to me...

2009-05-06T12:40:00.001-07:00

Life is in the mountains
with thin air and sherpas and monks
and bullets with little brake
winding down curvy roads

life is in the hamlets
with momo and noodles and omlette
each passing breath taken with
great pain

life is in those hot and sour
and the turbid waters
and the scary rapids

life is not in this flashy world
with sunglasses and attitudes
trying to make a point when there is none

life is in the mountains
where there is none to impress but you.

Quixotic pathways

2009-05-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

i am amused at the quixotic pathways i have taken
brandishing swords and riding black horses
to take on standing windmills only to return
shaken but unscathed
and yet again start another voyage
but never been able to leave myself and my awareness
to completely blend in the quixotic journey
and be one with the journey
and make it no more quixotic

i hope i can look into the real absolute true me
and then set ahead with that notion
with something which could by itself take care
of its reward and its realness

i wish the next quixotic journey
turns non-quixotic and thereby real...

---Phil

Sunset in alleppey beach

2009-04-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

the sun has paused in its way

just for a moment before dipping into the sea

splashing the reddish orange paint across the horizon sky

the world has paused for a second

before moving to darkness

the waves lap a silent whisper

on the shores of the sandy beach

cool breeze blow leewards

bringing respite to the day's heat

an ecclectic mix of colours play around the shore

with kids managing to escape the wave

but getting wet on trying once more

vendors selling cheap sweets

and tourists gaping at the beauty and the diversity

some small architects trying their designs in sand

to be washed away in the next wave

by the never-approving sea

some brown skinned boys playing in the waves

while kites trying to hold up against the blowing breeze

with the light house checking the sanity with long bright beams

and the old coffee houses with occassional lazy travellers

the new age digital cameras clicking around to capture

the frame that comes once per day

the ecclectic sunset in Alleppey beach

---Phil

2009-03-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy: Lijo

bland ?

2009-03-19T02:07:00.001-07:00

i sit in my chair in front of ivory desk
with a pen in hand and open book
i look for creativity to come to my finger tips
sipping black coffee with shivering lips

they said cocaine is better than caffeine..
or let all chemicals run in my blood
with tabs to get rid of this lingering feverish mood
and memories they come in a long train

no i am bland these days.. with feelings replaced by logic
no more the weakling who used to feel
instead metamorphized into this blandness..
making decisions based on statistics

let the room warp into a hollow space
and let me curl into a small ball
lying in a corner with no thoughts
but visions and hallucinations running through

and let my body be lighter and let it float
through the start studded skies
still there is no color to taste
and no drama to enact with passion

and let me sleep bland
with this lingering fever and tablets in my blood

---Phil

a half written poem

2009-03-19T00:39:00.000-07:00

you were the misty mornings
you were the chilly nights
you were the sweet melodies
you were the silly fights

the reason for unending walks
the season for unending talks
the cinemas that mock the audience
the dances that test your patience

the thousand nights of sipping coffee
and thousand fights over keeping pets

---Phil

spread the light

2009-03-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy: Lijo Jose

share the flame
share the light
take it away
brighten the streets

spread the cheer
don't spread the blame
when you and me can
share the flame

when the world is hiding
in darkness of hatred
spread the love
spread the light bright red

don't divide in color
not in breed nor creed or deed
share the flame
share the light
take it away and
brighten the steet

---Phil

i'm liking me

2009-03-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

the me who is always with me
the me who never complains that i am never there
the me who does not mind me paying the bill after a beer
or not paying the bill

i like being with me
through work, through play
with the crowd
and all alone

i 'm liking me
who gets angry sometimes
who gets sad sometimes
but mostly i am there
and i like me

All are terrorist

2009-03-03T22:20:00.000-08:00

Some day back they killed Bob Woolmer,
And before that they burned Rajiv,
Even before that they killed Indira,
and after that they massacred sikhs.

Some days back they burned the hindus in a train
and godhra massacred muslims in thousands
and they hated tamils in lanka and tigers killed singalese
they have been killing jews in israel and bombing muslims in palestine
the same one's massacred pundits in kashmir

some days back they killed 100's in Mumbai
they bombed the Marriot
then they killed the policemen and wounded the cricketers.

the more cunning one's attack women and guard morality
attack Purdha and guard patriotism
hindus, muslims, xtians, jews, tigers, lions
maoists, naxals, fascists, sikhs, communists, zions
capitalists, moral-policemen
all are terrorists
and i am one among these men

I miss you like the desert misses the rain

2009-02-27T09:13:00.000-08:00

Through dark nights and warm sun shine
I sleep away and smile to mask the pain
I walk away the shallow thoughts of mine
Still i miss you like the desert missed the rain

Through dusty deserts and lakes placid
Through windy roads and icy peaks
I wander around looking for that which was mine
And i miss you like the desert missed the rain

No day has passed without your face in my mind
No night without dreams of your smile
When i ride the roads with flowers along the wayside
I see that you are never there in my side

Sleepless nights and aimless days had passed
With no reason to smile and live for no avail
still i carried on to live another day
till you became a faded portrait washed away
by dripping tears and weeping heart
and life was again back to the same straight line
and i heard the song so dear to you
and then i miss you like the desert missed the rain

and i come to know that life is no magic dream
you never get those all who are left behind
all that comes back are days and nights in vain
and that repeats again and again
now there is no bleeding heart nor throbbing vein
but i still miss you
like the desert misses the rain

New Year Day

2009-01-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

Image Courtesy: Lijo Jose

a new year full of fresh hope
of putting back the lost days
the falling shares, lost jobs
betrayals and lost hopes
forgiven stake that was never yours
failures and 'i did not try too well' s

waking up in the new year day
wearing off the vodka of yesterday
riding through the alleys of pines
with soft wind ruffling your hair, and the sun shines
the golden warm sunlight playing hide and seek through the leaves
sipping coconut juice, the elixir to wear off the hangover
to dance again to the same tunes, but with a smile
and sing to the tune of breeze or a gale

the year i sipped the hot and sour for the umpteenth time
to ward-off the mountain sickness
and rafted through the crazy river, to be scared for life again
the year of collecting the ashes; of running away from memories
of writing exams for unknown reasons
the year has burned off and all its seasons

a new year to live again
to dream again and try again
to dance again to the same tunes, but with a smile
and sing to the tune of breeze or gale
to run amok in the warm sea shore
and to love like never been hurt before

desert rain

2008-12-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

and that day it rained in the desert
the first drops from a millennium
the longing of eons
the thirst since time unknown

the drops touched the soft dust
and made puddles in the ground
the aroma of wet sand
floating through the air
it started flowing through the surface
stroking the barren land

finding its ways to the insides
meandering through the arteries
flushing through the veins
to reach the throbbing heart

and it reached the throbbing heart
and the desert no longer missed the rain.
the desert no longer missed the rain

Silence - the purest music

2008-12-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

Image Courtesy:

Silence, the purest music
The richest note
played in harmony
by the universe

the deepest truths
embedded in sweet rhymes
for the astute listener
devoid of daily sounds

autumn face

2008-12-15T22:16:00.000-08:00

Image Coutesy: The Axe Victim

autumn leaves float in the air
ruffles the flock of auburn hair
dusty wind that blows again
to scratch and talk to the window pane
the smell of yesterday's ale
drowsy face in morning, pale
my morning view through half open eyes
with a smile i close my eyes.

silence of the highway

2008-09-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

Image Coutesy: srdjanhorvat

have you listened
to the silence of the highway at night
with murmurs of distant vehicles
and lights dimming from your sight

have to listened to the words
that is whispered to your ears
while you have been left awake
by the squeaking of your bus tyres

they said to me on countless silent nights
they said to me about the people who have traveled that way
that they were in a hurry to beat the friend on the next lane
and they were in a hurry to make up for lost miles
and carry a lot of frowns to rush to their graves
and missed out on a lot of smiles
which were coming their way

so slow down my child, slow down
the lanes are all the same for you and everyone
there is no race here and no price for the winner
this is a highway and travel not, carrying lot of baggage
slow down my child, for there is lot of time
to smell the fragrance of the morning air
and listen to the whispers of the silent highway

a long journey

2008-09-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy: Railway Track in Sepia, originally uploaded by Gatorhank.

a long journey
with no plans
no routes and no reserved seats
and finally to no destination

a window to the past

2008-09-17T09:12:00.001-07:00

Image Courtesy: whitenoiselounge.com

is that my story,
running backwards ?
with the scenes and the dialogues...
and all monologues, rewind in time...

will i go back in time to reach the space
that dreaded moment
where i walked out in my rage
to never see the face again
except in infinite morbid dreams
the shady painting and crumbled bread
and flakes of red chilly and fluorescent light

not to the lonely days of J.krishnamurthy
neither the dark stations of the central line
not the silent waves of arabian sea
beating the shores of colaba beach
is that moment ever in my reach ?

from dead to undead

2008-09-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

scared of decay and worms
phil rose from the dead
shook away the dirt
and penned words from his head...

phil died

2008-09-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Image Courtesy: Gravestones by Sean Duggan

phil died of heamorrage
he had a broken heart
he did not live till old age
at ripe health did he depart

i am bored with boredom

2008-08-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

after long days of staring into your eyes am realizing that our love was a fallacy.
a necessity of times, for the numbers that it puts into the bank website, and for the feeling of being occupied in some form of relation with something.
as a matter of fact i am fed up looking at your eyes.. your eyes which are the windows to the world of brackets and keywords, stack and heap and all those pulp which goes into the making of software..
neither does your window amuse me,, nor all the terminals that you show to painstakingly look at the dumb prints which give out the same old story again and again
i guess for the past 5 years i have been living with you as some sort of obligation, our love is falling apart and i cannot stand anything but the prints any more. do not show any more black windows with white prints. i do not want to see any compilation errors either. i find it absurd at this point that humans have made up all these compilers and languages for making unfortunate ones like us occupied all through the day and night to make those compositions.

for once i am fed up with boredom,, boredom has started to bore me in its monotonicity.
at least i hope that ladakh will bring a shard of fresh air to my nostrils which has been
smelling the stale AC of video lab for long.

Relative Hypocrisy

2008-03-02T23:17:00.001-08:00

For is there anything in people which is not relative hypocrisy. Of course not with me. Any deep dwelve into your mind will reveal a hidden motive for personal agenda in terms of any act that you do. Any act for that matter.
Now even for the logical mind who claim to project objectivism and individualism as absolute truth, well maybe there is a logical beauty to the statement.
That it points or it favours an absolute sense of reality and it can very easily touch the logical mind. Well then there is an issue; there are emotions, well not only animal one's or one's which are considered less subtle, but emotions which make you think that they arise from something called conscience or something more humane and when any act is arising out that there is this organized philosophy of making piffles of it, pettying it and de-humaninzing it.
Well for that matter the absolute truth is that had there been no emotion, there would have been no worldly or humanely act transforming the life of the society. Not at all.
But I guess there are acts arising out of an abolute sense of reason, and it seems an act itself is not necessary.. I do not know..
It is just a guess and some reason of knowledge...

A semi logical observation about God and Love

2008-02-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

I think I understand a little why there is the divine
For I feel that apart from the survival and reproductive instincts
human mind has subtle parts which can feel and generate love
love which is not amorous, which is neither attached to a blood relation nor attached to a reason
and there are various ways this could be touched upon
certain music, certain poetry, prayer, a place, a mass pilgrimage and any such act
can touch the area of mind which is supposed to link to the above mentioned aspect of love
that could be the reason why so many people shed tears or become emotional when they are in a holy place or with holy company
Now there is an intelligent design, or an evolution based on an intellegent design for evolution, or something which has left this particular
part of human psych intact, which could mean that the design of evolution could be directed to or originated from something called the divine... maybe...
For a perfectly logical mind, which is like a computer, an infinitely complex logical machine, there is no need for such a feeling and there is no attraction towards such a feeling too...
the argument by far says that god is a very very emotional concept and so is love and a logical mind which would consider emotions as secondary would never need a god or need not accept a god....
well i guess i am very less expressive in this realm... but i guess it cannot be expressed...
it is something which has to happen...
it just has to happen.. and i wish some day it will happen to me...

It has been a long long time

2008-02-25T04:34:00.000-08:00

Oh yes it has been a long long time since I last wrote something without an output motive. I guess the society these days do promote the result motive individual.. anyways..
So again now I have to think for it is a little mean and my fingers would stop typing if there were no meaning in what is being written.
I still do not get the courage to let go in writing. Abstract poetry would have been better since it would save me the embarassment by being naively stupid about most of them.

1. Well yes, so for all the people out there, do people believe that there is a means to live efforlessly like the Spiritual teachers are saying these days ?

2. Is there a way for a human to solve and go ahead through the intricacies of life analtically, while living in life itself ? I guess that was not worded correctly; Well when a person is critically in the midst of a serious issue, which also corresponds to emotions attached with it, can it be so managed that , it is seen as a problem as such without the emotions associated with it.

I do not think so, and if it were possible, then life would have been a higly complex series of interminkled problems to be solved. when i say problems, i mean in a positive way, like a computer scientist would describe " the travelling sales man problem"
As a matter of fact i was quite surprised while i got such a description to real life problems with emotions attached to it from a computer scientist [a computer engineer for that matter, the distinction is still there]

Well if it is possible, then the most intelligent problem solver should be the most successful person in life while it is not the case most of the times.

NON-Serious Writing

2008-02-25T04:21:00.000-08:00

After a terrible long interlude, just happened to write again. Though this period was very tumultous in various realms of my personality, I would prefer not to write about it in a public domain since, that would infringe many of personal and professional breach of privacy for the important lives of many third parties.
Well yes... the writing style is being influenzed by the throught process of a long time. Does it sound like a stupid business contract.Anyways I am not surprised either. Now when I think about it why should I write, that too in public domain.
Let me list down some of the so called advantages:
Writing improves writing skills.. well till now i do not intend to make a living out of writing.

but I sure do think that any creative outburst should be giving a sense of pleasure for the human being doing that and for that matter i guess i am maturing enough to figure out that the most important part of the human existance is his thoughts and the pleasure that comes out of creative outbursts from the thought process though i do not distinguish between the right and left brain and all those nodal separations.

And also this portion of just making no effort to do an activity in itself is a pleasure. I do not intend to re-read and edit an article or a poem or review it again. Writing for writing's sake should be explored. it should definitely be explored.

i should say that there is no amount of information pouring out in these words, nor there is any thought process coming out, except that maybe i have got into the habit of using words together in a flow to mean nothing or to mean something so that it sounds appropriate for the to just jot it down...

Again that was pretty selfish. A very selfish way of not putting your effort to come up with creative writing.. Well so be it. I guess I should be selfish at least in my blogs..

Oh yes I should be...

Now that I have come this far, let me think about something... in the meanwhile post this post

heading.... for this crap ?

2007-06-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

random meanness and blandness
combined with chemical soothness
with rigorous frustration and emptyness

is this the way.. or is this not the way...
did it go wrong or did it go right
am i confused or am i over doing

pen the whole thing and you get out
of the empty unknown ignorance
and the frantic incoherent tolerance

and the whole thing is not a big rotten apple
which falls on your head from where
you derive gravity

this is not a poetry
but a result of two bottles of beer
and one large mc dowells whisky

paid from my own pocket
for celebrating a week of meaninglessness

and did i make any life out of this
whole day which went haywire
and this whole un-known un deteered

blah blah blah
zzzzzzzzz....
good night

footsteps

2007-05-26T05:47:00.000-07:00

it rained last night
the sound of drops hitting the floor
and the dark night
cold winds and the gate was closed
i sat there near the window pane
and shivering all alone
and all night i waited
i waited for the footsteps to come
i dropped off to my dreamworld
and inside a cold dark dungeon
and i waited till eternity
and the footsteps came at last
and it stayed with me for a while
bringing the colours in a ray of light
and then one moment it faded
it faded away and the light was closed
and you start the wait till the next eternity
waiting...

crossing 25

2007-05-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

nothing much....

Woolmer

2007-04-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

It is a very sad fact that Woolmer had to be sacrificed for such a petty cause.. may be millions of dollars.. but the fact that it evokes such a pain seeing his cherubic face..
that is it is a murder..
the meek stupid cricket fans of the world should stop watching cricket in millions and let the betting mafia look into other arena.
maybe the police will bring out some of the direct perpetrators of the crime.. but the indirect perpetrators are the madly fanatic fans of india who are glued to their TV's.
Maybe the old charm of the gentleman's game has vanished... Now it is a stupid mania...
whenever there is this indian billions attracted to anything like cricket, like bollywood, then there is this dubai mafia coming after the money..
it makes perfect business sense.. high risk high returns.. but a person like woolmer getting sacrificed.. he should not have stood in the way.. for what glorious reason..

for a game called cricket which has turned a nation into stupid fanatics...
for cricket fans playing to the tunes of sugar water companies...

not worth it sir !!!
anyways....

Pursuit of happiness

2007-03-17T03:07:00.000-07:00

A splendid movie. The whole movie is the story of hopelessly impractical miseries striking a young man and his perseverance in surviving them. His wife leaves him in between and his only son who was still innocently loving him stays with him and feeds him with so badly needed trust..

Leaves us thinking about the family value system in place, also admiring at the courage and hard work put in by the hero....

Does this blog looks like a film review ? it sure does.. so stopping here..

FEAR

2007-03-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

Fear to explore
Fear to jump
Fear to think
Fear about your own mind
Fear of losing focus
Fear of losing love
Fear of failure
Fear to decide
Fear of non-performance
Fear of making a choice
Fear
...Fear
o...Fear
No...Fear
NO FEAR...

George Bernard Shaw

2007-03-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

This is the true joy in life: the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a might one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die ... Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations

animal rights

2007-03-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

it seems everthing starts with a thought, which gets translates to words... and then there is a long journey where they are put into action...

It is this traslation which people take for granted.. all the papers talk about the packs of dogs which is killing small kids in bangalore.. some people give comments on news papers and some even stage protests in front of governement offices.. but the whole energy dies down with time people forget about them...

pack of dogs chasing a small kid and slitting its throat.. and the cries of its parents captured so skillfully by cameramen..

is it that people of action are people of less words...
is there a way to terminate all the dogs.. maybe give them KFC burgers with cyanide ?

animal rights... !!!

Astronaut's Leak

2007-02-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

Image Courtesy: free image

I went to space last week
And came out of rocket for leak
I opened the nozzle
And ended in dribble,
It moved around my hip
And around the big space ship
And it rained on earth
And a saying took birth
If an astronaut pees for while
It rains in earth for a mile

You have outcasted Pluto

2007-02-28T04:34:00.001-08:00

I was family yesterday and i am a no one now
you colluded in my back and now you hit me hard
now i am an outcast , a no-body, an outsider in the same house
not even my father said a word when you said
that i am not family

from birth till now we were together in our journey
and our lives revolved around our father
but now you rich brothers say that i am thin
that my path is not as dictated by you
and i cannot be family

i am now one of the servants who used to accompany us
but it hurts to know that not even father said a word
when you told that i am not family
yes you have outcasted pluto, now and forever

Living with the clouds

2007-02-28T04:33:00.001-08:00

dark clouds gather one by one
they line up before my home
the wind blows paying respect to the
the silence before the storm
the lightning might strike and i am not afraid
the roof may get blown away and i am not worried
the home may get washed away by the rushing waters
but that does not affect me in any way

but the clouds, the way they line up and wait
silently in my heart with no rain to start
and when they start to fill the whole sky
one by one clouding the light
and i used to get worried
i used to get worried at that sight
and which i carried with me for the night
and which no sleep could stop that plight

but not anymore..
even now the clouds come,
and they stand one by one clouding the light
and the sight does stay till night and no sleep does stop that plight
but i am not worried
for strength is not the absence of fear
but the way you live with it inside and
you just dont care...

I believe in life

2007-02-28T04:32:00.002-08:00

I believe in life
I believe in life...
I believe in the ray of light
that percolates through the blocking veil
and lightens the darkest well..

I believe in the sunny hill and the cheerful valley..
that lies ahead this dark alley..
I believe in the sweet song that will
float around after this baneful gloom

I believe in my playful mind
which will pull me up and make me smile...
I believe in life which lets me live this moment of calm...

I believe in life....

The climb uphill

2007-02-28T04:32:00.001-08:00

Left alone in the climb uphill...
Left behind in the climb uphill...
They are far ahead and I'm far behind...
I need to run to catch up...
Let me catch my breath for a while
I need to run to catch up...
Or do i need to...
When the climb is done for its own sake
and the reward is the journey itself
does it matter who reaches first...

siesta

2007-02-28T04:31:00.001-08:00

Waveless pond
Slient whispers
Lazy numbness
Warm sun rays
Setting sun
Floating ducks
Rustling leaves
Fluttering wings
Dreamy eyes
And sleepy siestas...
Zzzzzzz....

Fire

2007-02-28T04:30:00.001-08:00

The burning embers of anger
The flame that eats all
The fire that is cruel and
The fire which is so horrific
Which can reduce anything to smoke
And send it to its creator
In an ethereal container
Which can grow bigger than the biggest monster
Which can take apart the forest in one gulp
And leaves aside remains of all things
Some which had life and some supposedly were dead already'
Reduces them to embers and makes them equally bright
The fire that knows no class and race
The fire that knows no distinction
And the fire that kills the ugly ego
Which makes you better than me
The fire that preaches equality
The fire which can also burn me....

The lonely lane

2007-02-28T04:28:00.000-08:00

The lonely lane,
The chilling breeze,
The whispering palms,
The deserted chairs....
Do they speak of you?

The silent lamp posts,
The nuzzling birds,
Are they missing you?

The smiling flowers and the placid lakes
Are they sentinels of the bygone days?

I never walked the lonely lanes...
The never were the same...

Waves

2007-02-28T04:27:00.000-08:00

Image Coutesy: loudounaglo.org

I stood in the shore
Waves came and went
Some wet my legs
Some dragged me along
Some carried the sand
And scratched my skin
Leaving some marks on
My unmarred skin

One wave was huge and
it washed over me
wetting my body
and wetting my soul

It remained with me for eternity
and i though that it would stay for ever
I relished the wetness for some time
Then I was choked for breath
Though I had breaths in between
I started hating it
Then the wave just left

and I stood alone
time dried my body and
dried my soul..

but no wave came after that
and i am still
standing in the shore...

Thunderbolt

2007-02-28T04:26:00.000-08:00

There is a thunderbolt
in my heart when i see you
there is rush of blood in my
veins when i hear you

There is smile playing in my lips
when i think of you
there is no big cheer in my day
if i talk to you

let the feeling stay for ever
and stay for ever
so i dont tell you

let me be the silent spectator of my own
thoughts

I wish

2007-02-28T04:25:00.001-08:00

I wish I could be the cherubic innocence
I wish I could be the pure bliss
I wish I could be the unselfish love
I wish I could be the toothless smile

I wish,
       I could run away to my mother's arms
       And play around the shrubs and palms
       And squabble for the tricycle in the store
       And not worry about life anymore

I wish I be the child once more
Playing all day, sleeping all night
I wish I be the child once more
Ignorant of this rotten plight       

I wish...

Time

2007-02-28T04:18:00.000-08:00

Time flies like a falcon
Those days of playful pranks were yesterday
And years flew by between yesterday and today
End of months, end of quarters and end of years
Come rushing to you to remind you of the sales targets
And the falcon drew lines on your face and curves on your chin
And sprinkled grey patches on your youthful mane
And you were looking at the profit graph
And the sensex waves, where you wished
Your riches get doubled and tripled
You never realized that your got crippled
That now you are termed as the sulking old man
That all your riches might pay for plastic surgery
But it will not bring back the playful years and youthful merry

the flower that bloomed all summer

2007-02-28T04:11:00.000-08:00

last summer was sunny and warm
I fluttered my wings and flew around
the same flower which bloomed for me
the inviting fragrance 
and the mellowing taste of nectar
she offered me with no limits
she waited for me with a friendly smile
each day as summer passed by
she never wilted and she never drooped
the long wait she ever resented
and when i came to her she was all smiles
and i patted her with care
then the season changed and i got new friends
and i changed my route and never saw her
she waited and wilted and drooped and died
a message she sent through the wind, her last
the breeze told me that she needed me,
but i never heard it when there was my need
now the season changed back and forth many times
and when the sun shines hard and I flutter and fly 
to the end of horizon all alone, I sometimes feel
that if only I'd heard the message then
and went across for my love,
for life does not give a second chance
and lonely do I fly

Live if you wish to

2007-02-28T04:09:00.000-08:00

Savour the beauty of the valley, if you wish to
but do the climb, bear the heat,
plan the trip and spend your gold

break the law if you like to
but then only if you can deal with the law
smell the rose for the moment
but if you can avoid the thorns

drink your wine if you feel like,
then accept the folly you do
and fall in love if you want to
and bear the pain, if you could.

live your life if you wish to
but then you need to live it full.

Metamorphosis

2007-02-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

from a cocoon you spread wings
and adore colors and rise with the wind
from the shell you shine bright
and the pearl comes out giving light
from the pond dirty and filthy
you rise as lotus bloom
but when time passes by
why do i try
to build the shell around me
with deals and exclusivity rights
and eyes covered not to see the plights
no person, no human, no thing around
just deals and contracts and flings
and the sentences in legal lingo
making and framing relations
ah well... i like it
when i am no longer the emotional fool !!!

IF - by Rudyard Kipling

2007-02-21T09:34:00.000-08:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Let Go

2007-02-21T09:30:00.001-08:00

I have learned to let go
to let go of the things which
i would have gripped with me tight
for which i would have fought
till the end of my breaths
for which i used to negotiate
and try to bargain
and try to talk over
and put forth mutual gains
try to promise
and run to deliver
not anymore
since i have learned to let go
let go of the feelings
let go of the possession
since i have learned not to change
someone for your needs
and i have learned to let go
and walk to where life leads

People with conviction

2007-02-11T04:20:00.000-08:00

Rarely do you see people with conviction and sincerity written all around. And I happened to meet one of them. The whole paradigm of working, the quest for knowledge and the readiness to do whatever it takes to reach there.
People who dedicate their entire life to reach greatness. Who do not want anything in return.
Who sleep four hours a day and work for 20 hours and who thinks that anything can be done.
People who have met with failures in the past but still kept on learning to try again in the future.
Well you have no option but to respect them and help them achieve their greatness.

The fact that they have worked so hard to reach their goals that their entire health has deteriorated. The fact that they keep on striving..
you can but look at them with awe.. and the fact that one such person has started association with us is something to be proud of.
That there is something in us to be of value to them.

talent is given by the creator, so is opportunity
but people who create opportunity with talent and attitude, the world has to salute them..

stoic walls

2007-02-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

Pretty face, she looks away with the pretty face
and sits so small .. petite and cute
with her eyes so sharp and smile so naive
smile so naive and yet so deceptive
the lips that curl and all those words
and all those stupid stupid thoughts
ah.. those notions and the rocky walls
those stoic cold and damp walls
how i wish i could rip them apart
burn them down or tunnel them through
one day they will fall as all walls had fallen
but for what price...
and is the struggle worth..
wars are misery if the reason is money
fame or power or even love..

no regrets

2007-02-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

all my nerves and bones and skin
and all the ten thousand odd muscles
they are straining and pulling all the while
and how i wish i could just sit down
and stop being the steamy boat
let me stop thinking for a while
and play my childhood again
and be the small tall boy
who just had an old umbrella to look after
who had walked all the way back from school
for the glass of milky tea and corridors to play
but at the life which is passing by
and i look at me, my body and mind
and pull it through to take control
drag it through to take control
and sleep one day with no regrets
i hope
to sleep one day with no regrets..

Waiting for creativity

2007-01-28T06:51:00.000-08:00