Waiting for creativity

i sit in my chair in front of ivory desk
with a pen in hand and open book
i look for creativity to come to my finger tips
sipping black coffee with shivering lips

they said cocaine is better than caffeine..
or let all chemicals run in my blood
with tabs to get rid of this lingering feverish mood
and memories they come in a long train

no i am bland these days.. with feelings replaced by logic
no more the weakling who used to feel
instead metamorphized into this blandness..
making decisions based on statistics

let the room warp into a hollow space
and let me curl into a small ball
lying in a corner with no thoughts
but visions and hallucinations running through

and let my body be lighter and let it float
through the start studded skies
still there is no color to taste
and no drama to enact with passion

and let me sleep bland
with this lingering fever and tablets in my blood